学会控制你的怒气
We have lost the art of the unsent angry letter, says a recent New York Times column.
“写一封不会寄出的‘愤怒信’已经成为了一项失传的艺术。”《纽约时报》最近的专栏文章如是写到。
The writer, Maria Konnikova, says many famous people had the habit of writing letters expressing their frustrations toward their receivers and then destroying the missives. Whenever former US President Abraham Lincoln felt the urge to tell someone off, he would compose what he called a “hot letter”. He would vent all of his anger into a note, put it aside until his emotions cooled down, and then he would write on the letter: “Never sent. Never signed.”
该文章的作者玛丽亚•科尼科娃写到：很多名人在愤怒时都会给惹怒他的人写信表达愤怒，然后再撕掉这封信。曾经的美国总统亚伯拉罕•林肯就是其中之一，他每次想要责骂别人时就会写一封他所谓的 “怒火之信”，把所有的愤怒都写进信中，然后将其放在一边直到自己平静下来，再在信上写上“永不署名、永不寄出”。
Konnikova says the unsent angry letter used to be a tradition among public figures who needed to think twice about their choice of words. Former US president Harry S. Truman, former UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill and American author Mark Twain all wrote unsent angry letters.
科尼科娃说，作为名人间的一项传统，永不寄出的愤怒信曾让他们三思自己的遣词造句。同样出任过美国总统的哈里•杜鲁门、曾经的英国首相温斯顿•丘吉尔以及美国作家马克•吐温都曾写过这样的愤怒信。
There are two benefits of unsent letter, says Konnikova: “It serves as a type of emotional catharsis, a way to let it all out without the repercussions of true engagement. And it acts as a strategic catharsis, an exercise in saying what you really think.”
科尼科娃认为这种做法有两方面好处，一是“作为感性宣泄感情的方式，在不会产生实际影响的情况下把感情全部发泄出来。”二是“作为感情宣泄的训练，让你能表达出自己的真实想法。”
Place to vent
宣泄之道
In the social media age, we have more channels to express immediate displeasure than ever before. Venting our negative feelings is easy. But it also means we forego our chance to think twice and act differently.
在这个社交媒体流行的年代，我们有了更多即刻发泄不满的途径。宣泄负面情绪变得更容易。但是，这也意味着我们正在放弃三思而后行的选项。
When Lincoln wanted to write his “hot letter”, he had to find a pen and a piece of paper. That process alone provided an opportunity to curb impulse, and time to determine if his anger should be voiced or be kept quiet. Now we need only click a button to send our complaints and hurtful words on their way. In the heat of the moment, says Konnikova: “We find the line between an appropriate response and one that needs a cooling-off period blurring.” We have lost a buffer zone to determine what needs to be said and what needs to only to be felt. It’s especially true when we see similarly angry commentary coming from others, says Konnikova. Our own anger begins to feel more socially appropriate and justified.
林肯想要写“怒火之信”时，寻找纸笔的过程能让他冷静下来，让他有时间决定到底是要为自己的愤怒发声，还是要将愤怒留在心底。而现在，我们只需点一下鼠标，自己的牢骚之语、伤人之言就能迅速发送出去。科尼科娃说，现在的人在怒发冲冠时，“不再需要冷静期就能做出所谓恰当的回应”。（现代社交媒体让）我们失去了缓冲，没有时间三思哪些话应该说，哪些情绪需要宣泄。这一点也尤其适用于我们看到别人同样怒气冲冲的评论之时。科尼科娃认为，我们因此更会觉得我们的愤怒符合社会规范的天经地义的。
Perhaps that’s why we see so much anger and hatred online, so many anonymous, bitter comments, so many imprudent tweets and messy posts, says Konnikova. Because creating them is so easy, you feel it less a satisfying experience to vent out your feelings, so you feel the need to do it more often. When your emotions never quite cool, they keep coming out in other ways.
在科尼科娃看来，这也许就是为什么现在网上出现了如此多愤恨之言、匿名的尖酸之语、粗鲁的推特状态、以及满是脏话的回复。因为发布这一切太过容易，甚至让你觉得发一条已经不能满足自己宣泄的欲望，需要发更多来才能痛快。只要你的情绪尚未平静，你就会另寻他法将其宣泄。
信息来源：微信
“写一封不会寄出的‘愤怒信’已经成为了一项失传的艺术。”《纽约时报》最近的专栏文章如是写到。
The writer, Maria Konnikova, says many famous people had the habit of writing letters expressing their frustrations toward their receivers and then destroying the missives. Whenever former US President Abraham Lincoln felt the urge to tell someone off, he would compose what he called a “hot letter”. He would vent all of his anger into a note, put it aside until his emotions cooled down, and then he would write on the letter: “Never sent. Never signed.”
该文章的作者玛丽亚•科尼科娃写到：很多名人在愤怒时都会给惹怒他的人写信表达愤怒，然后再撕掉这封信。曾经的美国总统亚伯拉罕•林肯就是其中之一，他每次想要责骂别人时就会写一封他所谓的 “怒火之信”，把所有的愤怒都写进信中，然后将其放在一边直到自己平静下来，再在信上写上“永不署名、永不寄出”。
Konnikova says the unsent angry letter used to be a tradition among public figures who needed to think twice about their choice of words. Former US president Harry S. Truman, former UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill and American author Mark Twain all wrote unsent angry letters.
科尼科娃说，作为名人间的一项传统，永不寄出的愤怒信曾让他们三思自己的遣词造句。同样出任过美国总统的哈里•杜鲁门、曾经的英国首相温斯顿•丘吉尔以及美国作家马克•吐温都曾写过这样的愤怒信。
There are two benefits of unsent letter, says Konnikova: “It serves as a type of emotional catharsis, a way to let it all out without the repercussions of true engagement. And it acts as a strategic catharsis, an exercise in saying what you really think.”
科尼科娃认为这种做法有两方面好处，一是“作为感性宣泄感情的方式，在不会产生实际影响的情况下把感情全部发泄出来。”二是“作为感情宣泄的训练，让你能表达出自己的真实想法。”
Place to vent
宣泄之道
In the social media age, we have more channels to express immediate displeasure than ever before. Venting our negative feelings is easy. But it also means we forego our chance to think twice and act differently.
在这个社交媒体流行的年代，我们有了更多即刻发泄不满的途径。宣泄负面情绪变得更容易。但是，这也意味着我们正在放弃三思而后行的选项。
When Lincoln wanted to write his “hot letter”, he had to find a pen and a piece of paper. That process alone provided an opportunity to curb impulse, and time to determine if his anger should be voiced or be kept quiet. Now we need only click a button to send our complaints and hurtful words on their way. In the heat of the moment, says Konnikova: “We find the line between an appropriate response and one that needs a cooling-off period blurring.” We have lost a buffer zone to determine what needs to be said and what needs to only to be felt. It’s especially true when we see similarly angry commentary coming from others, says Konnikova. Our own anger begins to feel more socially appropriate and justified.
林肯想要写“怒火之信”时，寻找纸笔的过程能让他冷静下来，让他有时间决定到底是要为自己的愤怒发声，还是要将愤怒留在心底。而现在，我们只需点一下鼠标，自己的牢骚之语、伤人之言就能迅速发送出去。科尼科娃说，现在的人在怒发冲冠时，“不再需要冷静期就能做出所谓恰当的回应”。（现代社交媒体让）我们失去了缓冲，没有时间三思哪些话应该说，哪些情绪需要宣泄。这一点也尤其适用于我们看到别人同样怒气冲冲的评论之时。科尼科娃认为，我们因此更会觉得我们的愤怒符合社会规范的天经地义的。
Perhaps that’s why we see so much anger and hatred online, so many anonymous, bitter comments, so many imprudent tweets and messy posts, says Konnikova. Because creating them is so easy, you feel it less a satisfying experience to vent out your feelings, so you feel the need to do it more often. When your emotions never quite cool, they keep coming out in other ways.
在科尼科娃看来，这也许就是为什么现在网上出现了如此多愤恨之言、匿名的尖酸之语、粗鲁的推特状态、以及满是脏话的回复。因为发布这一切太过容易，甚至让你觉得发一条已经不能满足自己宣泄的欲望，需要发更多来才能痛快。只要你的情绪尚未平静，你就会另寻他法将其宣泄。
信息来源：微信
